Unwritten Memoirs

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Unwritten Memoirs: A Poem by Jeremy Stevens

 

The days pass by, but

you still haven’t given up.

You treat me like I’m still alive,

and that means so much.

 

Will I ever get to tell

my story of passion,

hope and desire, strength and sadness?

I guess not. Now it’s up to you.

 

When I think of everything

that you’ve done and still do,

I feel so bad. On hold like this,

I thought I had so much time

in my life to work with.

 

I never would have thought

it would be so abrupt,

and the worst part (though it’s all messed up)

is that before the lights went out,

we never made up.

 

I’m still haunted by the way

I cursed and threw stuff.

The most I can hope for

is that you’ve forgiven me.

 

Can you see it in my eyes?

God I hope you can see me.

Am I even really here?

Am I still me?

 

Am I already in Hell?

Or is it just Me?

 

It’s been six months

and I still can’t say a thing.

I can’t move my toes.

I can’t even blink.

 

I wish I could let you know,

everything that I’ve learned.

I heard everything you’ve said,

every single word.

 

I even heard the nurse,

when she said I was a lost cause,

here on borrowed time,

and I heard you say, “Thank God!

 

that he’s still alive at all.

He still has my heart,

till death do us part.”

I never thought

 

it would end like this,

but the things still keeping me alive

are when you kiss me

and in the afternoons when you bring the kids.

 

But it’s just a piece of a life,

a life once lived.

I hate it when you cry,

it really breaks my heart.

 

It’s really getting hard, and

the end seems so far.

 

It feels like everything around

me is falling apart.

This is all just a part

of my Unwritten Memoirs.

 

I had so much to live for,

now life’s my personal Hell.

I still love you so much,

although I guess you can’t tell.

 

Don’t judge me by my appearance,

it’s just my shell.

I found God in the dark,

so wish me well.

 

Six more months have passed,

and you stopped coming by.

I know you and the kids

had to get on with your lives.

 

According to the staff,

I guess it’s time to leave,

so it looks like it’s about

time for me to go to sleep.

 

Goodbye darkness!

Goodbye bad dream!

Maybe I’ll get into Heaven

and do great things!

 

Goodbye! see you

again when the sun sets.

Maybe one day again,

We can hug and reset!

 

Goodbye! see you

again when it’s sunny!

Maybe one day again,

I’ll get to hug the people who loved me!

 

Goodbye! see you

again in the West!

Until we meet again,

lay me down to rest.

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